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2010 World Cup Preview: North Korea

The Station a.k.a The Terminal
Creative Commons License photo credit: DW212

The Team: North Korea is an enemy of the United States, so they are an enemy of the Yank. But, I have heard that you should treat your friends like your enemies, and your enemies like your friends, so I think we should extend the olive branch to that crazy North Korean despot Kim Jong Il. Once again though, I have also heard that you are supposed to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. So, now that Kim Jong Il is our friend, we should…

Even I am confused now. Let’s just settle on “North Korea sucks… including @ soccer.”

I think that bumper sticker would sell. Well, if not for the soccer shout-out.

The Cream: I am just joking (poorly) of course, I don’t really harbor any ill will. I do think it is a bit odd that they let that “Lil” Kim boss them around. Honestly, how long does someone have to deny you democracy while subjecting you to a life of poverty before you get a little “Common Sense” and make him feel a little Thomas Paine. You can say what you want about his grip on reality, but the man clearly knows a thing or two about keeping his grip on power.

I have no room to judge either, since I’m the dork referencing Thomas Paine.

The Dream: If Thomas Paine were alive today, he’d say “You nitwit, this post was supposed to be about Korea DPR’s shitty soccer team!” Ah, he had a mouth on him, didn’t he. Anyways, he’s right. So here goes, this will be their third World Cup and the furthest they have ever gone is the Quarters (’66). Their best players are all young Yongs, like Yong-Jun (M), Yong-Jo (F), and Myong-Guk (G). They looked decent in qualifying, but they have no chance.

Nope, they are probably the weakest team in the whole tournament.

With the crap they have to deal with back home, who can blame them.

But their odds of winning the Cup are the same as the odds of “Lil” Kim stepping down:

1,000,000,000,000:1.

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