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2010 World Cup Preview: New Zealand

100_0853The Team: Despite being a small island of sorts inhabited by a strange Kiwi people, New Zealand has given us some culturally significant stuff. In addition to The Flight of the Conchords, it was also the place that they shot those movies about hobbits. Plus, I think Russell Crowe might have been born there. Do I really need to go on? New Zealand’s soccer team hasn’t been so significant though. This will only be their 2nd World Cup and they were one-and-done in 1982.

The Cream: Who will need to kickass for the Kiwis for New Zealand to have any chance in middle-earth of winning the whole damn thing? Well, they will definitely need their leaders to step up. Nelsen needs to nail strikers nuts to the pitch and Killen needs to straight up kill keepers who go all klepto with his shots (why am I rapping suddenly?). Most of all though, their coach will adhere to the slogan, “See What Brown Can Do For You.” Brown the midfielder, not UPS.

The Dream: I have a dream that UPS will finally get rid of those annoying commercials with that hippie and his smarmy sidekick, that white board. I have a nightmare where the white board chases me with a huge eraser. Finally, I apologize to you for daydreaming about white boards while writing this post. Earlier, we talked about New Zealand’s culturally significant stuff, but one thing they won’t be adding this year is a Jules Rimet Trophy. There’s no chance.

I am putting their odds at a ridiculous 1,000,000:1.

Too high?

So are fans of The Flight of the Conchords.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Rosa Luxemburg