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Cooper: Leaving Voicemails Again

After last evening’s point-saving goal, FC Dallas forward and US international Kenny Cooper walked out to his car and remembered his last order of business for the evening.  Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and dialed the digits of the one man who Cooper seems unable to impress.

“Hi, you have reached the voicemail of Bob Bradley.  Currently, I am out looking for attacking options.  Please leave your name and number at the beep and I will kindly return your call.”

Cooper pauses and then speaks in a confident manner.

“Bob, hey sorry to call you so late.  It’s me, Kenny.  I wanted to let you know that I scored again tonight. That now makes 8 goals in 15 games so far this season.  My score helped our team tie the defending champs.  You do know that I am available on August 20th?  You will need attacking options against the likes of Guatemala, Haiti, and Trinidad & Tobago.  Call me; you could use my finishing ability.” 

Satire aside, Kenny Cooper should really get another look; hopefully, sometime soon.