Assigning a player a rating for his performance over just 400 minutes (or even less) is not an easy task. In the end, the judge’s score will be flawed due to the subjectivity of his perception. Yet, I – the Yank – have undertaken to rate all 23 players who showed up in South Africa to play for the US. It was a truly foolish task to take on (I know) and I am certainly one soccer judge whose court credentials could be debated, but here goes anyways:
No, wait. Before we get into the ratings, I should probably give you some sort of background into how I came up with my numbers. Well, I decided to use a 0-10 scale with 10 signifying a Golden Ball worthy player and 0 representing a complete and utter flop (and not even Green and his slippery gloves would get a 0). I then rated each player on each game and did some of that fancy math stuff to calculate averages for each guy.
So, basically a 0-2 rating is like an F grade, 2-4 a D, 4-6 a C, 6-8 a B, and 8-10 an A.
- Howard (7.5): He ceded five goals in four games, but he also was usually under assault.
- Guzan (—): El Guz never played, so it simply would not be fair to assign him a grade.
- Hahnemann (—): Marcus also never got between the posts so he gets an “incomplete”.
- DeMerit (7.5): Jay wasn’t superb, but he was tougher than most Guy Ritchie characters.
- Cherundolo (7.0): Dolo played well in games 1 & 3, but in matches 2 & 4 he was terrible.
- Bocanegra (6.5): Carlos has lost a step, and his veteran wiles couldn’t compensate for it.
- Onyewu (5.0): Two starts for Oguchi were two too many. He simply wasn’t fit for the Cup.
- Bornstein (4.0): Replacing Gooch was Jonny, who made me constantly scream at my TV.
- Spector (—): Zero minutes in the Cup for Spector, whose club play put him on the pine.
- Goodson (—): I would have liked to see Clarence, the most moral Nat, on the pitch though.
- Donovan (8.5): He scored three of our five goals, and all three were quite simply heroic.
- Dempsey (8.0): The Deuce was even more dangerous on the ball, but only scored once.
- Bradley (8.0): The box-to-box Energizer Bunny proved he is the future Captain of the US.
- Feilhaber (7.5): Benny only got in 3 games, but he displayed a very deft passing touch.
- Edu (7.0): Bob should have favored Mo to Ricky Clark, as Edu showed some great promise.
- Holden (6.0): One short stint on the pitch is hard to judge, but I will stick Stu with a C.
- Beasley (5.5): DMB got on the pitch and didn’t do much except pick up a card. Fitting.
- Torres (4.0): Torres’ World Cup dream became a nightmare during his half vs. Slovenia.
- Clark (3.0): Ricardo only played in two games, yet his mistakes cost us most dearly of all.
- Altidore (7.0): He held pretty well and would have scored if not for the ridiculous refs.
- Gomez (6.5): Hercules’ 3 cameos were competent, and Jozy’s non-goal was his non-assist.
- Buddle (6.0): He was briefly utilized in only two games, so Edson didn’t have time to shine.
- Findley (5.5): Robbie missed only 1 game due to discipline. I wish he had missed them all.
- Skeletor (7.0): Bob Bradley built a resilient team, sure, but it needed its resilience.