From time to time I treat you to a new episode of my “Know Your Opponent” series prior to US MNT matches of great esteem, but today I would like to make a small twist on that tradition by presenting unto you the information you need to know about the Jules Rimet Trophy, the historic piece of hardware 32 teams are about to tear each other apart to hoist at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Though not as famous as The Stanley Cup, the Rimet is better.
Why? Well, for one, dozens of depraved hockey defensemen haven’t done naughty things to the Rimet (though some Brazilian backs may have at some point in either recent or ancient history). Well, let me clarify one point actually. The Jules Rimet Trophy hasn’t been awarded since 1970 because it was replaced by the current generic trophy (see the bling at left). The real Rimet was stolen. It wasn’t me either. Nope, I was too bust lifting the Lombardi Trophy.
Yep, me and my crack gang of thieves have been stealing all the world’s major sports’ trophies. We have the President’s Cup (courtesy of a poker game with Ted Turner), a green jacket from Augusta (which based on the cavernous fit and odor of nicotine I am going to guess belongs to Cabrera), and even an Olympic Gold Medal (Bruce Jenner needed the money for more surgeries). Heck, we even hijacked the Heisman. Don’t tell anyone though. It will be our little secret.
Seriously though, one thing that will not be kept under a lid this month is the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa. While I have done a poor job of educating you about FIFA’s most desired trophy, I promise we will do an excellent job of providing you with the best World Cup news, commentary and opinion on these here interwebs. So, keep coming back to STO during the entire tournament to see who ends up stealing the statue formerly known as the Jules Rimet.