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US Soccer Birthday Roast: Wynne Edition

The making of...The Host: Happy Birthday Marvell Wynne!  Can you believe we got your whole family together for this reunion bday celebration? Aw, man, it was no problem. You know me, anything for you Marv(elous). We are all gathered here at our local Long John Silvers to “walk the plank of great taste” and celebrate the feats you have performed with your feet over the last 24 years. You are such a great friend, and have never lied to me, so I just want to honor you, bud. 

The Toast: Seriously man, you’ve always been honest with me. Anyways, let me toast your terrific play. After all, you did some good things for the Reds (Toronto FC) and now you are trying to prevent leaks @ the Dick (with the Colorado Rapids). You have also lent your talents to the Nats and you are still hoping to get back into the mix before the World Cup in South Africa rolls around. You have had some injury issues, but you are ready to shine right now.

The Roast: I know you will Wynne! I mean, how could you not? You have the physical talent, you just need to show them you have the will. Thus, I can’t roast you buddy, I can only encourage you to succeed. After all you have never lied to me, bud. What Marvell? I didn’t hear you over the din in here. Step outside with me. Huh, what the heck?

Wait, Marvell, what do you mean your birthday isn’t until tomorrow?

You liar!

I’m going back inside. Party’s canceled everyone. Why?

Well, why don’t you ask Mr. Marvelous…


Creative Commons License photo credit: Lance Shields