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US Soccer Birthday Roast: Spector Edition

The making of...
Creative Commons License photo credit: Lance Shields

The Host: Happy birthday Jonathan Spector! Today we have all gathered at our local Domino’s to (1) “get the door” (that makes no sense) and (2) honor the spectacular soccer feats you have performed over the last 24 years. We have a lot to cover, so I will just get to it. You have been a splendid player for the National Team (23 caps) and you have performed admirably for United (over 75 appearances). May all your bday wishes come true!

The Toast: Jon, you are rare here in America because you have taken the pitch for , the NY Yankees of the Premier League. Even though you only took the pitch three times for the senior squad, not many other folks can stake such a claim, that’s for sure. But, your grandfather, Art, may have been the most athletic Spector of all. He was a strong basketball player back in the 1940s. In fact, he was the first player ever signed by the Boston Celtics.

The Roast: Yeah, your gramps often burned opponents, and now it is time for me to roast your ass. Hmm, I’ll go with the story about your “goal” in the Prem against Derby County. Yep, they took away from you long after the game by crediting it to another Yank, Eddie Lewis. Unfortunately for Eddie though, it was an own goal. Hey, at least Derby scored though, right? Yeah, that’s more of a roast of Lewis, but I couldn’t resist poking fun at Derby County.

Have a great bday Jonathan and a fantastic 24th year!