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US Soccer Birthday Roast: Skeletor Edition

The making of...
Creative Commons License photo credit: Lance Shields

The Host: Bob Bradley, I know I am one day early, but I would like to wish you a very happy birthday! To honor you, we have all gathered at our local Burker King to (1) “have it your way” (even if we don’t like extra Skeletor sauce, like you) and (2) celebrate the majestic managerial career you have enjoyed while on God’s green Earth over the last 52 years. Your smarts have won us many games, and your seed (young Michael) may win us many more. 

The Toast: I know I kid you often on this site about your resemblance to He-Man’s nemesis, Skeletor, but I must say I am actually one of your most ardent supporters. I think you have done a dandy job with the Nats, who were in a precarious position when you took over the team from your former boss, Bruce Arena. You also had very successful stints with several MLS sides and perennial NCAA soccer powerhouses. You’re a damn fine coach.

The Roast: But, I must roast you a bit today, so please forgive me. First of all, you were once fired by Alexi Lalas. How the hell did you hold a straight face during that meeting? Seriously, the only person with less credibility when it comes to terminating employees is Donald Trump. Hmm, that’s more of a burn of Lalas though. I don’t think I can roast you after all, Bob. I just hope you toast the other teams at the World Cup this Summer. That would be the best present I can imagine. Good luck and have a fantastic 52nd year my man.