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The One Good Use for the Vuvuzela

Vuvuzela DayYou here that sound?  You don’t.  Well it’s the unfamiliar sound of silence.  Now that the World Cup is over no more clamors of buzzing bees in the background of your TV monitors and no more South African festivities of any sort.  Kind of makes you feel sad now that it’s all over, right?  I bet you wish you could hear the horns one more time.  Well I’m sure there is a CD coming out with noise soon, but for now you’re just gonna have to remember South Africa for the vuvuzelas.

And you’re not the only one whose gonna miss the obnoxious noise.  All the coaches will too.  Why you ask?  Because the horns were the perfect scapegoat to any ill-conceived situation that arose.  Now that they are gone coaches are going to have to go an entire new direction.  Allow me to explain further. 

When England was shutout by Algeria and had only earned two points in two matches, Fabio Capello claimed he couldn’t hear the Three Lions fans raining boos down on his men after the match because the vuvevelas were blaring so loud.  Convenient isn’t it?  In fact some might say that the musical instrument is the perfect blanket to protect a coach from humiliation at such an ugly affair.  Allow me to continue.

Holland manager Bert van Marwijk also claimed the same type of thing when Robin van Persie stormed off of the pitch during that knockout round Slovakia match.  Apparently van Persie loudly made some negative remarks about the coach’s decision to prefer Sneijder to him on the pitch at the end of the match.  The Dutch coach told the media that he wasn’t offended by van Persie because he couldn’t hear anything he said because of the vuvuvelas.  Yet again the vuvuvelas saved the day!    

The same types of encounters have occurred for officials, announcers, and players as well.  If an official misses a call then they can always claim that they were whistling the play dead, but were drowned out by the loud noise.   If an announcer makes a mistake in the press box then he can always claim the vuvuzelas were interfering with his coverage, and the player himself can easily blame the instrument because the noise interferes with the player’s communication on the pitch. 

In other words everybody has blamed something on the vuvuvelas at some point in time and usually it is to cover up their own blunder.

Imagine if these things were around when Zidane played.  Maybe he would have never been guilty of the infamous head butt.  After all if he couldn’t hear anything on the pitch then he never would have been furious in the first place.   

Creative Commons License photo credit: Dundas Football Club