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The Laws of Soccer 101: The Corner Kick

My wife loves the movie Dirty Dancing. She watches it almost every time it is on television. For those of you who do not live in a place where you receive TBS, TNT, , etc., let me tell you this: it is always on television. It is probably on every day on a major TV station somewhere in America. Women love it. It’s probably because ladies love Swayze.

His most famous line in that film is “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” I detest the film as a whole, but I love the moment when he busts out this line. It’s one of those “it’s so unbelievably and inadvertantly bad, it’s totally freaking great” moments. It reminds me of the 17th Law of Soccer, which deals with corner kicks. It is terrible on the whole, but sweet in parts.

Here is your Pop Quiz for this week. The aforementioned awesomeness of this rule makes its appearance in section (C).

Which of the following quotes is actually in the FIFA Official Laws of the Game regarding corner kicks:

A. “The corner flagpost must not be moved”;

B. “A corner kick is a method of restarting play”;

C. “A goal may be scored directly from a corner kick, but only against the opposing team”; or

D. All of the Above.

It’s (D), once again. That’s (D), like in “dumbass”, which you would be if you got this one wrong. I would love to ask FIFA head honcho Sepp Blatter, “How would one even score a goal against his own team on a corner kick?”. I would say, “Seriously, Sepp, it’s illogical and perhaps even physically impossible, so why even put it in the rulebook?”

His response? Who knows? I like to imagine he would slap me in the face and utter these words:

“Nobody puts Blatter in a corner… Well, except Swayze circa Dirty Dancing.”

Scoff if you want, but it could happen…