Welcome back students. It’s time to learn about the 2nd Law of Soccer, The Law of the Balls. Sounds dirty, I know, but let’s try and keep giggling to a minumum please. So, as I was saying, there are many laws one must abide by when it comes to balls. They must be the right shape and size, they must be leathery to the touch, and – most importantly – they must feel right when they are being cradled in the ref’s hands. I said no giggling! Some people are actually trying to learn.
If we can’t pay attention, I guess we will just have to do another pop quiz. Which of the following soccer balls could reach the pitch in a FIFA “official” match”
A. A spherical, leather ball 28 inches in circumference with a 16 oz. weight with a “FIFA Approved” logo affixed.
B. A spherical, plastic ball 27 inches in circumference with a 14 oz. weight with a “FIFA Inspected” logo affixed.
C. Any spherical ball made of FIFA “approved suitable material” that doesn’t advertise for anything other than FIFA.
D. All of the Above.
If you guessed (D), you may be a genius, but you also are a frequent reader of this site, which means you are more likely not. The answer is always “All of the Above” when it comes to the Laws of the Game. I guess when it comes to the ball, as long as it is close to the same size, shape and weight, who cares what material it is made out of.
I am sure vegan players would probably prefer less leather, but who cares what vegan players prefer (if they even exist without protein pills). To make a short story long, the 2nd Law of Soccer may be about “Balls”, but it is really about the most important piece of equipment in the game. After all, only when you play with balls can you score.
If you think about it. The ball is to soccer what fate is to life. Sometimes it finds you in the right place at the right time, and other times you cough it up because you hesitated on an empty net. Sometimes in both soccer and life, you start out with two perfectly fresh new balls, and you end up losing one in an ugly defensive scuffle and have only a single muddy ball and an otherwise completely empty ball sack. Who doesn’t know that feeling?
Seriously guys, stop giggling… Class is dismissed, but remember to do your homework because in a few days we will be closely examining the laws that apply to players while they are vigorously playing with their balls.
OK, I did that last one on purpose…