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The Fifth Best Facial Hair In Soccer History

The trimmed beard is a classic look that has been worn by many great men. Over the history of the world, such beards have been seen as symbols of deep wisdom, strong virility, and high social status.

I am not talking about the “hobo beard”, which grows long as it is untrimmed. I am talking about the clean, circle beard, like Papa Smurf’s.

So, my take on the trimmed beard is above. Notice the finely shaven neck, and upper cheeks. Now, if this were a “hobo beard”, there would be just hair growing everywhere, like Joaquin Phoenix’s current look. This is not a beard for someone who wants to completely avoid shaving. It’s the dapper man’s full beard. And I think it’s a classic.

What soccer player best grew such a neat, tidy beard? Why, it was Socrates, of course. I am not talking about the classic Greek philosopher, mind you, but rather the Brazilian soccer player. Though, Socrates the philosopher did also have a pretty fantastic beard, at least according to the stone busts of him that have been sculpted over time.

Socrates the soccer player is remembered less for his facial hair than he is for being one of the greatest players in world history. As a midfielder and forward, he played with amazing vision, and he was reputed to be one of the best assist men in world soccer history.

He also had a nose for the net, and his goals scored numbers are ridiculous. Socrates signature move was the blind heel pass, but the man himself was renowned for his incredible insight and intellectual attitude. He was a heavy drinker and smoker during his playing days, which is fitting, as a man with such an incredible beard obviously enjoys the finer things in life, like fantastic facial hair, for instance.