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The Bard's 100 Best Soccer Players: Cantona (#70)

Creative Commons License photo credit: Lordcolus

The Pick: Eric Cantona, how do I laugh at thee fiery temperament, let me count the ways. I laughed that one time when you picked up that ball and used it as a dodgeball against a referee. I laughed when you showed up to appeal a disciplinary ruling once and – instead of defending your actions – personally called each of the people judging your case an “idiot.” And I laughed that time you scissor-kicked a supporter of another side for speaking to you.

The Flick: Wait, that last one really isn’t funny. I think that one kung fu kick cost Cantona a great deal. Because of that one asinine assault, many people probably think that I should have left King Eric off my 100 seat throne. Well, I couldn’t deny his royal lineage when I looked at his princely scoring ability, 131 goals in 369 pro games and 20 goals in 45 international games for Les Bleus. He also won four Prem titles. So, what actor should play Eric in my bio-film? 

I need a prolific actor who is known for both his talent and tirades…

Casting Commissioner Gordon, send up the Christian Bale star signal.

The Limerick: Bale is a great actor, but I am an even better Bard:  

 Opposing managers are desperate to learn all Sir Alex’s tricks

 The only one ever revealed though was due to Cantona’s antics 

So Fergie schools Man U

In not soccer, but kung fu?

Ah, that’s how those damned Red Devils get their kicks!