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The Bard's 100 Best Soccer Players: Kahn (#73)

Das Spiel 06
Creative Commons License photo credit: DoJoe

The Pick: Oliver Kahn is not the same guy who wronged Captain Kirk on Star Trek (I believe that was “Khan”), but he was a dominating goalkeeper who exposed many opponents to his wrath over a long successful career. He appeared in over 550 pro games (more than 400 with Bayern Munich) and 86 international matches, and his legacy will live on due to his play for Germany @ the 2002 when he became the first (and only) GK to win the Golden Ball.

The Flick: Kahn was an unstoppable force during his playing days, and his imposing physique was known to intimidate even the silkiest smooth of strikers. He won 8 Bundesliga titles and a title, but he never won the biggest game of all, the FIFA World Cup Final. Nope, he settled for second. So, who should play Kahn in my film? Well, who else looked seemingly invincible only to show up on the biggest day of their career and flop?

Ivan Drago from Rocky IV. So, I select Dolph Lundgren. Done deal.

The Limerick: Hey, he looks a bit like him, and I am fairly certain he is available:

A psychic once told a kid that he would never be “sporty”

So the kid spent his entire life on the pitch up until he was forty

That kid was “King Kahn”

Who made ladies fawn

Then spurned them when they begged to be his shorty.