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The Bard's 100 Best Soccer Players: Chilavert (#86)

On the pitch
Creative Commons License photo credit: Bobbie

The Pick: Jose Luis Chilavert, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways: (1) I love that you – the greatest Paraguayan player ever and one of the best GKs the game has ever seen – valiantly tried to keep your squad’s sheets clean in over 500 pro matches; (2) I love that you were never afraid to unleash your eccentric (and sometimes extremely volatile) personality on the pitch; and (3) I love you most of all because you were a great goal scorer.

The Flick: Huh? A goalkeeper who puts shots between the posts? Yep. In 74 international matches for Paraguay, Chilavert scored 8 goals. In 1998, he scored 10 goals in a single season. The next year, he became the only GK ever to notch a hat trick. The man could curl a free kick in creative ways, and even Beckham couldn’t bend it better than him. Who should play him? Well, Adam Beach (Windtalkers) bears a very strong resemblance, so I’ll go with him.  

The Limerick: Yeah, I love Chilavert, but I must diclose that he is also freaking insane:

Jose was a great goalie, but he has spent time in jails,

While he was a natural in the net, his temper never fails,

He and his legs are loose cannons,    

And both spend to much time tannin’

And far too little time in the avoidance of crazy cocktails.