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The Bard's 100 Best Soccer Players: C. Ronaldo (#100)

Cristiano Ronaldo
Creative Commons License photo credit: Paolo Camera

The Pick: Fitting that the picture above shows Ronaldo running away while wearing a Man U jersey. After all, that is the last view Man U fans had of Ronaldo after he ran to for a bigger check. But, I am not so sure La Liga poses Ronnie a bigger challenge than the EPL did (and would have kept doing). I am putting him at #100 because (in spite of the 2008 Ballon D’Or), he still has much to prove to me. Like, for example, that he can help Portugal win. 

The Flick: Ronaldo could end up being a Top 10 player of all-time if he wins a , a few La Liga titles, and maybe even a Scudetto for good measure. I am being hard on him (um, unfortunate use of words there) by putting him in last. But, #100 still ain’t bad, and I think he will keep rising as he ages. What other performer only gets better with age? Why, it’s Hector Elizondo, of course. If I could get Hector circa 1972 to play Ronaldo, I’d cut the check myself.  

The Limerick: I know, Hector is too pretty to play Ronaldo, but here is a short rhyme:

Ronaldo’s skills ensured Man U a title in the Champions League

And his transfer to Real was filled with media drama and intrigue

But one weakness he can’t cloak

Is that he always seems to choke

And when it matters most he looks crippled with fatigue.