The Beauty: You can’t deny that Brazilian soccer players have historically been the world’s best. Exhibit A: Pele. Exhibit B: Ronaldo. I rest my case. You also can’t deny that Brazilian models have historically been the world’s hottest. Exhibit A: Gisele. Exhibit B: Raica Oliveira, who’s beauty is displayed at left. Raica is actually perhaps hotter than even Gisele. How so? Well, some of us folks just dislike anything associated with Tom Brady. Raica has no Brady.
The Beast: But, she did entertain my other Exhibit B above, Ronaldo, for almost two years. Soccer fans (and prostitutes) the world over are familiar with Ronaldo (some in the Biblical sense). He’s known as The Phenomenon due to his amazing goal scoring ability. He holds the all-time goals scored record for the FIFA World Cup Finals, and he played a huge role in the hoisting of two Jules Rimet trophies. He’s been a great pro, too. He’s as gifted as they get.
The Bard: Raica shagged one of the world’s greatest players, so she deserves this ode:
Raica Oliveira has a body built for sin, but her true passion is charity.
While others are quick to rush to judgment, she displays calm and clarity.
She’s modeled for Victoria’s Secret, but another secret rocked the halls.
Ronaldo had never told her about his affinity for prostitutes with balls.
She split with him when the scandal broke, choosing to go her own way.
She’s dated billionares and musicians since, but she’s never sure if their gay.