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Losing is Half the Battle

First of all, let me say I am swearing off DVR for sports. I (once again) relied on it to record the match for me, and it has (once again) left me crying in a heap on the floor. I had to work late last night. Really late. I set the DVR to record the 11:30 pm ESPN2 showing of the game (I knew the score, I couldn’t resist looking, the game started at 8:00 am).

I figured I would work until midnight, and then watch the game and be able to fast forward through the pre-game hoopla and halftime. It would literally take me just 90 minutes to watch (plus injury time), and I would be in bed by 1:30 (not bad these days). But ESPN2 decided to switch the Italy-Egypt game to 11:30, so now I have nothing.

So, to make a long story short, I have again been deceived by my own technological device. It’s made me look stupid. Just like Brazil made the US look stupid today. I’ve seen the highlights on FSC, and I am now almost glad I didn’t capture the whole game on DVR. It looked bad. Very bad. 3-0 bad. And why? Well, I will tell you.

The US is only half as good as Brazil. Brazil has only lost to us once in more than a baker’s dozen games, and that was only because Kasey Keller played the game of his life. They are so much better than us, I can’t even think of a metaphor to articulate it. They had 16 shots, we had 8. They had 6 corners, we had 3. They are twice as good as us.

Of course, we did win one statistical category: saves. Unfortunately that is because Brazil fired at will on Howard and the US never tested the keeper and forced him to make a saveNever. We did have two shots on goal, but they were literally “on goal” as they rattled off the crossbar. Meanwhile, Melo, Robinho and Maicon made the Yanks look stupid.

Once again, the US also had a player sent off (Special K). Why not bring Clint Mathis back, he can get reds too, can’t he? Geez, it’s hard enough beating Italy or Brazil, but doing it a man down is pretty much impossible. Especially when your defense is as flawed as ours. All in all, these last two games, their -5 goal differential, and my DVR have me in tears.

But, what can we really do? Our team is only half as good as Brazil’s. If we lose to teams like Brazil and Italy now, maybe it will make us stronger come 2010. In that case, losing really would be half the battle and G.I. Joe would have to issue a retraction. Bob Bradley doesn’t remind me of G.I. Joe, or even Snake Eyes. There’s only one cartoon character he is reminiscent of…