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April Fools’ Day Headlines For MLS Fans

voodoo joker
Creative Commons License photo credit: spacepleb 

April Fools’ Day is being celebrated all over the globe today, which means you better be on the lookout for pranks perpetrated by your pals. If you are easily embarassed or generally gullible, chances are someone will dupe you like the dunce you are. You can avoid being “punk’d” though by fooling others instead of falling victim to their practical jokes. In order to come up with a good one though, you should look to the past. My favorite April Fools’ Day prank?

Well, that’s got to be when Trebek and Sajak traded hosting duties in 1997. Oh, sorry, I meant “What is when Trebek and Sajak traded…” Ah, nevermind, you get the point. Anyways, if you are a fan of the beautiful game, soccer, and the American league, MLS, in particular, I will aid you with your attempt to put your asinine amigos on a fool’s errand. Here are some faux MLS headlines you can send your fellow fans today in order to fool them. Ah, I pity those fools…

Chicago: “Fire Seek Hustle, Beg Blanco To Return”

Chivas USA: “Preki Yearns to Return, Can’t Quit Goats”

Colorado: “Rapids Seek Quick Fix For Leaky Dick”

Columbus: “Lenhart To Go After Shearing ‘Fro”

Dallas: “Owners Announce Return To The Burn”

DC: “Onalfo Resigns, Soehn Named As Replacement”

Houston: “Dynamo Decide To Share Cups With Quakes”

KC: “Jimmy Conrad Named People’s Sexiest Man Alive (Or Dead)”

LA: “Beckham Admits Injury Just Excuse To Cruise With Tom”

New England: “Twellman Finally At Full Health”

New York: “Hoffa Found Under Goal At Red Bull Arena”

Philly: “Sons of Ben Take Vow Of Sobriety Until Union Win”

Salt Lake: “Mel Gibson’s New Project, The Passion of the Kreis

San Jose: “Lalas Hired As GM, Deftly Trades For Donovan”

Seattle: “Sigi Skips Buffet To Burn Calories At Gym”

Toronto: “Mo Johnston Named GM Of The Year”