Let’s face it folks. Sports video games are the new reality and now reality is no longer real and the video game world is truly what’s real in the world of sports. Confused? So am I, but then again I still don’t fully understand The Matrix. I was just trying to come up with a logical reason why I decided to do a mock World Cup final on my PS3 FIFA 2010 World Cup South Africa. I figured the result of the animated match might explain a few unknown insights into the real match that will take place tomorrow.
And to be honest video games are now relevant in the modern era because every athlete wants to know where the edge is on their opponent. In NASCAR many of these racers claim they prepare for a particular race on a particular track by playing the video game. After all the video game has every tricky turn that the real race tracks do. I’m sure young golfers probably do this too when they have to play Pebble Beach, so is preparing for a soccer match really any different?
Of course it is you idiot. A video game has nothing to do with what really happened. And if you just sit around playing them all day you’ll just rot your brain and what good is that? Sorry to sound like a deranged grandfather there, but what if the video games did actually tell us something about the result? The SATO investigates:
Spain-Netherlands: The FIFA 2010 World Cup South Africa final (in the form of a video game)
And were off! Lovely evening here at Soccer City 1:00
Lots of transition of the ball early on. These boys seem a bit nervous so far. I’m sure the pressure is getting to their 3-D designed bodies. 10:00
And in the 14th minute David Villa breaks the draw with a header goal off of a brilliant cross into the box from Iniesta. The first shot of the day and we have a goal ladies and gents! Spain 1, Dutch 0
The Flying Dutchmen nearly strike back off of two straight crosses into the box, but fail to make the grade against Casillas. The first was deflected away and the second was right at the keeper. Guess he wasn’t distracted by his lady behind the posts! 25:00
Another near goal via the header from the cross for the Dutch. They smell the blood of La Furia Roja in the water. 34:00
Villa has the fast break off of the brilliant pass by Xavi who really threaded the needle. But the potential Golden Boot winner couldn’t finish the play and Torres puts it in off of the deflection! Yes, that Torres. Spain 2, Dutch 0 36:00
Arjen Robben places a perfect cross onto the head of Rovin van Persie. Even the Arsenal man has no complaints as he cuts the lead in half. And right when the clockwork Oranje needed it too. Dutch 1, Spain 2 38:00
Van Bommel receives a yellow card for a hard tackle on Robben. I don’t think the AI version of the Dutchmen flops either. 43:00
HALFTIME Spain 2, Holland 1 45:00
Sneijder fires in a nice shot from outside of the box, but Casillas makes easy work of it. They will have to do better. 47:00
More work from the Dutchmen for Casillas, but once again Robben shoots it right at the keeper. 55:00
Cesc Fabregas for Xabi Alonso and Van der Vaart for Kuyt. Teams are making there big moves! 57:00
Another save from Casillas. They can’t break the man. 63:00
David Silva enters the match. Surprised he remembered where the pitch even was! 67:00
Spain is just toying with the Clockwork Oranje defense now. Brilliant passing around the box, but nobody wants the decisive finish. It appears they are just maintaining possession and keeping the Dutch at bay 87:00
Final Spain 2, Dutch 1
There you have it folks. FIFA’s take on the final score. Player of the Match: Fernando Torres. Wow, really? No wonder it’s a video game.
photo credit: Patrick Hoesly