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STO’s Soccer the Movie: The Temptress

Because She's GorgeousWith all the tabloids eating up the Bridge-Terry scandal you can’t just have your regular run of the mill love story in the movies anymore.  These days you need that sexy vixen that will make things uncomfortable for the protagonist.  The love triangle is one of the oldest elements of story, so I’m sorry England national team fans.  Even that Bill Shakespeare guy knew about it.  And he was around way before the Blues.

But lets take a look at the candidates for playing the role of the evil, manipulative temptress:

1) Angelina Jolie

She is one of the most famous ladies in the world when it comes to the role of the temptress and that should be no surprise considering she stole away Mr. Pitt when they worked on the film The Smiths together.  Jolie is gorgeous and a very talented actress plus she has played similar parts in many past films.  Recently her work in the animated film Beowulf introduced nerdy English majors everywhere to their very own Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  She could steam up the screen one last time and probably adopt a kid over the weekend if she wanted to.  She is that good.

2) Sienna Miller

Miss Miller joins Miss Jolie on the list of beautiful women that can easily pull off the part of the temptress.  She is not as well known as Miss Jolie is (thanks to the United Nations and the film Original Sin), but she has been in everything from Layer Cake to the new G.I. Joe movie.  She was also once engaged to a Brit (Jude Law), so I’m sure he told her all about the game and how it is played.  Probably not (he is kind of a pretty boy), but oh well!

3) Monica Belluci

Belluci is our choice from and the actress also would have no problem pulling off the part with her busty sex appeal and adorable Italian accent.  She hasn’t starred in a ton of American movies although she did have a small part in the second of the Matrix trilogy.  She is not extremely well known over here expect on magazine covers, but they really do love her over in Europe.  And can you blame them?  Belluci is the most stunning lady on the list in one Yank’s opinion.

4) Megan Fox

Megan Fox has the looks to pull off the role of the temptress, but does she have the acting ability?  Of course the Transformers star complained a year back about how Michael Bay doesn’t understand actors and isn’t a real acting type of director.  Really?  I thought The Rock won the Academy Award for Best Film, Lead Actor, and Lead Actress.  Honestly Fox can’t act her way out of a brown paper bag, but playing the role of the seductress should be something she can handle.

5) Olga Kurlyenko

You probably don’t know her by name, but Olga is the Ukrainian beauty in such films as Hitman, Max Payne, and Quantum of Solace.  In other words she doesn’t like to pick a movie unless A) she can take all of her clothes off (I’m not complaining) or B) the movie was inspired by a kid’s video game.  She is the perfect example of a WAG type of beauty though and she would be perfect for the part.  We might have to retitle the movie FIFA 10 though.

6) Vanessa Perroncel

They say that art often imitates real life and why not have Wayne Bridge’s old lady friend play the part she is recently become so famous for playing?  In fact she has gotten the attention of an entire nation and even the entire world with her ability to seduce footballers, so worst case scenario she could be employed as an acting coach.  On second thought, all of might boycott the film if we gave her the shot.   Well except for John Terry of course.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Preit 😀