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All I Want For X-mas: Mallorca & Tenerife


All Mallorca wants for X-mas is home matches every week of the season.  Yes, it is a tall order to have this one passed by the league officials, but what if I told you Mallorca has been the best squad at home this year in any major league?  You probably think I’ve lost it, but I’m afraid it is true.  Heading into last weekend, the sixth place squad was a perfect 7-0-0 at home.  Even more impressive they have scored 20 goals in their own house and only have given up 3.  That +17 goal differential is the best of any club in the league while playing at home.

Mallorca is solid on both sides of the pitch and the club will likely not make any shocking moves come this January.  Like most clubs they could use a young forward to be the secondary guy to Aritz Aduriz.  Aduriz is off to a strong campaign with a team leading seven goals.  If they can get some more support for the twenty-one year old they could make a push into the top five squads.


All Tenerife wants for X-mas is to clone Lionel Messi.  I have suggested the newboys do this in previous blogs before, but to me (despite it being highly illegal) it seems like the only answer for top four results.  The club could never buy out the stars contract, but if they could somehow trick Messi into having the procedure done then expect Tenerife to win the UEFA Champions League nearly every season.

But until Tenerife can find a way to pull off the Multiplicity theory, they will have to settle for middle of the pack results at best.  The squad only has 13 goals this year and ten Lionel Messi’s would have scored at least fifty goals by now.  And remember, Tenerife.  Never clone a copy.  It has to be the real thing.