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A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Calderon Jokes

Thanks to STO reader Nathan Schorr for posting a link to this picture of Paolo Calabresi as Nic Cage at Real Madrid’s UEFA Champions League match last week.

As even Helen Keller could see, that my friend is no Nic Cage.

I can’t imagine how Calabresi even pulled it off now that I have seen his so-called “disguise”. He really should have gone with Sacha Baron Cohen, as the hair and the beard are much more suited to play that role.

Speaking of the hair, has no one at Real Madrid (or in Spain for that matter) ever seen a Nic Cage film? If not, they should go out and rent Matchstick Men, Adaptation, Leaving Las Vegas, and Raising Arizona, but leave the rest of his canon untouched (wow, that sounded dirty).

If they have seen his films though, they should have realized Cage suffers from the dreaded “large forehead” (aka: the receding hairline) and Calabresi clearly does not. Calabresi’s Cage is clearly a Hairclub for Men client.

And finally, where’s that famous Cage ‘stache?

Just kidding. I couldn’t resist. Don’t know where this came from or why it even exists, but I thank God for it anyways. It’s a good look for Cage, though admittedly not as good as Calabresi’s.

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