Ladies & Gentlemen, may I have your attention! It is time to award the 2009 STO MLS Awards. Like an Oscar, an Emmy or an AVN Award, a STO MLS Award is a coveted prize. Which men will hoist the hardware as recognition for their hardwork in 2009? Below, I have provided you with our annual Gold, Silver, and Bronze medal winners. So, without further ado (and yes, unfortunately, Adu), here are the 2009 STO MLS Awards (aka “The Yankies”?):
Top Manager: (1) Bruce Arena; (2) Sigi Schmid; (3) Steve Nicol
Top Defender: (1) Chad Marshall; (2) Wilman Conde; (3) Geoff Cameron
Top Rookie: (1) Darrius Barnes; (2) Omar Gonzalez (3) Steve Zakuani
Top GK: (1) Kasey Keller; (2) Zach Thornton; (3) Donovan Ricketts
Top Newcomer: (1) Freddy Montero; (2) Donovan Ricketts; (3) Freddie Ljungberg
Comeback Kid: (1) Zach Thornton; (2) Clint Mathis; (3) Ben Olsen
Most Clutch: (1) Stu Holden; (2) Landon Donovan; (3) Jeff Cunningham
Breakout Performer: (1) Robbie Findley; (2) Omar Cummings; (3) Geoff Cameron
Most Valuable Player: (1) Landon Donovan; (2) GBS (most dominant, no doubt); (3) Sharlie Joseph
So, now that their names have been engraved on the STO Chalice (“Lord Wilson’s Cup”), they shall forever be remembered as the men who bested their competition to win a completely meaningless award from a person who is probably too ill-informed to actually select between them. Yes, the STO Awards are like every other award show!
Come back tomorrow to hear about my 2009 MLS Best XI, and don’t forget to tune in on Turkey Day for the annual STO MLS Turducken Awards. Now that you know who was the best, it will be more fun to mock the lads who ended up being the least in 2009. If you follow this series, I promise you that by the end of this week you will be as full of MLS knowledge as you are of turkey and stuffing (or, as some in the South would say, dressing). So come on back. Preferably, with dressing.