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The Bard’s 100 Best Soccer Players: Milla (#91)

Painted Fan
Creative Commons License photo credit: manbeastextraordinaire

The Pick: OK, before you scoff at my inclusion of Roger Milla on this list, let me tell you a little about the man. First of all, he was one of the first (if not the first) player from Africa to become an international soccer superstar. Second, when he was 38 freaking years old, he willed Cameroon to the 1990 World Cup Quarterfinals by scoring four goals and dazzling audiences with his skills (plus he scored in ’94 too). Third, the man is now an ambassador for his people.

The Flick: Now, I bet some of you out there still think Milla doesn’t deserve to be here, but you need to remember this man didn’t just have one good tournament, he also scored 275 goals over a long, illustrious pro career. Sure, his teams didn’t hoist much hardware, but it wasn’t because of his performances. So, which actor should play Milla? Well, let’s see, who continues to give great performances in films that flop? How about Delroy Lindo. Ever seen Congo 

The Limerick: I really respect Milla, who I think is the “Josh Gibson of world soccer”:

Like a fantastic fine wine, Milla seemed to get better with age,

At the 1990 World Cup, he left defenders in fits of rage,

He looked like a child,

As records he stockpiled

Like the oldest man to score on the world’s biggest stage.

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