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The Bard's 100 Best Soccer Players: Jairzinho (#66)

Hot Brasilian Fan
Creative Commons License photo credit: rmoriz

The Pick: In Brazil, two things are plentiful: beautiful women and seductive men who play the world’s most beautiful game. One of the most entertaining Brazilian footballers ever was Jairzinho, or as I will call him for brevity’s sake, JZ. JZ was one of the silkiest assist men the game had ever seen, but he also could put the ball in the back of the net (+200 for club and +30 for Brazil). His contribution to Brazil’s 1970 World Cup win also makes him a great candidate. 

The Flick: So, if he is so special, why isn’t he closer to the top spot? Well, his stats don’t stand up as well as some others all-time, and even though he was great, the man he replaced for both club and country, Garrincha, was probably greater. He almost filled his shoes, which is admirable, but he still ends up second fiddle. Hey, this guy even lost the Golden Boot in ’70 despite scoring in every game. So, what actor has put in entertaining performances but never accepted an Academy Award.

Will Smith.

He has the talent, and “Ali” proved he can grow the necessary ‘fro. 

The Limerick: Seriously, the ‘fro was so great, it could be a character in its own right:

Jairzinho was a player known to abstain

He said “no” to champagne and “not tonight” to cocaine

But he loved ladies twiggy

And only sought their jiggy

So the poor piggies called him “The Hurricane”

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