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STO Red Cleat Diaries: Swimsuit Edition

Michael Phelps and Natalie Coughlin are amazing athletes. Need proof? Well, Phelps has a whopping 14 Olympic Gold Medals around his neck, as well as a slew of trophies on his mantle from every major swimming event in the world. Coughlin has 11 Olympic Medals of her own, and in 2008 she became the first woman to win 6 medals at one Olympics in the modern era. They are both considered “all-time greats” even though their careers aren’t over yet.

But, what if they had played soccer instead of deciding to take a dip in the pool? I think they both could have been superstars for the US National Team. Think about it. Their physical skills (speed, stamina, strength) could have matched up with any of our soccer players, and their ability to focus at the most important, significant moments could have made them clutch players of the highest ilk. We would have been denied Coughlin in a swimsuit, but…

She would have looked hot in soccer shorts too. Her physical attributes and short course swimming abilities could have translated well to the soccer field as well. She is known as one of the best “kickers” in swimming, so she could have controlled the middle for the US Lady Nats. Here strong backstroke also makes me think she could have gotten back well on defense to be a great “two-way” player in the US midfield. I like to think of her as a “two-way” player…

OK, moving past that bit of bawdiness, let me also say I think Phelps (so long as he could stay long away from the bong) could have been a great GK for the US. I mean, how could he not have been? The guy is fast, 6’5″, 200 pounds, and he has an arm span that competes with MJ for greatest in US history (it’s 6’7″ if you wanted to know). Plus, his size 15 hoofs could send the ball way down field. In short, I think both Phelps and Coughlin could have been soccer stars.

Now that I have taken you from the football field, to the tennis courts, to the basketball gym, and to the swimming pool, I must conclude my Red Cleat Diaries for a little while. Soon, I will start my 2009 MLS Season Reviews. Plus, I have a lot of Californication to catch up on. Thank you for following along with me as I fantasize about US soccer players. I hope I filled you with knowledge. Duchovny wishes he had filled you with something else altogether.

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