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STO WAGS of the World: Sylvie van der Vaart

The Beauty: In the Netherlands, Sylvie van der Vaart is the Queen of the WAGs. Her hubby is a respected player, yes, but that is not why she is the Alpha female in the Dutch WAG hive. It’s because she’s the fairest beauty not just among the WAGs, but in the entire country according to polls. Why does she get these accolades? It’s because she has done more with her life than simply marrying up. That’s right, she is an accomplished model, actress, and television host.

The Beast: Rafael van der Vaart is a superstar midfielder for Real Madrid (isn’t everyone these days?), but he should be simply known as Sylvie’s beau because she holds much of the tandem’s talent. Sure, Rafael is a fine player on both sides of the ball and has over 70 caps with the Dutch National Team, but Miss Sylvie’s sexiness transcends Rafael’s soccer skills. He will need to help the Netherlands capture a World Cup in order to earn equal billing with Sylvie.

The Bard: I can’t properly immortalize Sylvie in poetry, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try:

Sylvie rose to prominence by interviewing pop stars about their hopes and fears.

Her fans were relieved when she avoided injury during her Q&A with Britney Spears.

But recently Sylvie has been faced with a difficult opponent, one whom she now must answer.

She beat men off with a stick for years before she met Rafael, and now she must beat cancer.

As she is the classiest of WAGs with a charitable heart, I wish her nothing but health.

While I am wishing here, can I also get a footlong hotdog and, if there’s time, infinite wealth?

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