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MLS 2009 New Year’s Resolutions

It’s a tradition to begin the new year by making resolutions that you would like to fulfill in the following twelve months. We usually don’t manage to keep these resolutions, but we make them anyways so we have something to aspire to achieve. Well, here are some resolutions I think some prominent MLS figures would make:

David Beckham: I resolve to continue to spend more time begging to play with the English Nats and even less time worrying about earning my massive contract by entertaining MLS fans. I also want to spend even more time in my underwear. Hopefully, my mate Tom Cruise and I can finally recreate that scene from Risky Business like he promised.

Sigi Schmid: I resolve to take it easy in 2009. I worked my ass off last year with the Crew, and I want to ease into this Seattle job. We’ll probably finish last anyways, so what am I gonna do? Oh, and this is the year I finally get off the couch and start that diet and exercise regimen. Ha ha, I am just kidding. Diet and exercise. That’s rich! I crack myself up.

Bruce Arena: I vow to try to rebuild the Galaxy into a powerhouse in 2009. I resolve to get the most out of Landon and Beckham (assuming they decide to show up) and to make them gel together and play like true leaders. Ah, who am I kidding. I would be more likely to cure cancer or invent cold fusion in 2009. I just want to keep my sanity.

Don Garber: I vow to continue to rule MLS in a clandestine fashion. I will conspire to promote the league at all costs while ignoring the plight of some of the players. I will keep pushing for growth even though the statistics make it look like the league should be taking a more conservative route. Oh, and I want to finally beat my wife in ping pong. I swear, that woman cheats.

Well, those are my 2009 MLS New Year’s resolutions. If you have any to add, let me hear about it in the comments.

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