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Know Your Opponent: Costa Rica Edition

Costa Rica is one of the few nations in the world without an army. That’s right, since they abolished their military in 1949, they have had no organized armed forces. They are world renowned for their peaceful nature. In fact, the UN’s University for Peace is in Costa Rica. Good for Costa Rica. Well, unless they get attacked by a neighbor of course.

The Yanks hope to attack them this week, at least soccer-wise. The US plans to invade the small Central American nation’s net and crush the dreams of its approximately 4.5 million people. Costa Ricans may think the “pen is mightier than the sword”, but we Yanks disagree. We think a pen that transforms into a sword is strongest. Check and mate.  

Now, until recently Costa Rica’s soccer history was pretty poor. In fact, they never qualified for a World Cup until 1990. Sure, they did make it to the last two World Cups, but they were knocked out in the 2nd Round in 2002 and they went home after the 1st Round in 2006 without picking up a point.  In fact, their side’s success has been scarce.

But, don’t be fooled, this side can play. Paulo Wanchope, who played in MLS with the Chicago Fire, was Costa Rica’s biggest scoring threat for years. His retirement has definitely left them without an offensive impetus. Gilbeto Martinez, Cristian Bolanos and Carlos Castro are Costa Rica’s current leaders, and they will need their best to defeat the Yanks.

I hope they can’t upset our side this week. If they do, I think we should invade for real.

Who’s going to stop us?

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