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STO’s Soccer The Movie: The Coach

00046fWe already have a director and a star (Boyle & Butler), so now we need to cast the actor to play the aging, legendary coach.  What actor could bring out that Fergie type of personality that would inspire the locker room?  Lets break down the candidates.

1) Michael Caine

Caine has acted in over 140 films (meaning that he has never turned down a role in his entire lifetime).  But with over fifty years of professional experience, I am sure Caine has already played a soccer coach before in his acting career.  Still though the guy would make a great coach yet again and he could provide the inspirational speech when needed.  After all the guy is the motivating force that keeps Batman going.  In fact the Englishman has already agreed to do another untitled Batman project down the road.

2) Ian McKellan

The Lord of the Rings star hasn’t acted in half as many films as Caine has despite being within five years of the same age.  But McKellan (with his stronge background in theatre) would be more of a purists for the game of soccer then Caine and he would be less likely to leave a club once he agreed to manage it.  McKellan would probably bring more of a sternness and intimidation to the leadership role then any other candidate, but he probably would be the least popular guy in the club’s locker room too.

3) Donald Sutherland

The father of Jack Bauer is actually a Canuck.  This should be no surprise considering the guy was recently the voice of the Canadian hosted Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony.   Sutherland ranks as one of the only people in the world who has starred in more films then Michael Caine (nearly an impossible feat).  The man currently has been in 156 movies and he has acted for a shorter duration then Mr. Caine.  Although Kiefer’s dad has more experience, he does not know Batman.

4) Roberto Benigni

The 1997 Academy Award winner has only acted in four films since the honor, so I’d say it is about time the zany Italian appeared in another hit film since La vita è bella.  Benigni would likely bring the over-the-top celebrations when the club experienced victory, the guy did climb across the seats at the Oscars when he won rather then walk down the aisle.  But when your one of the only men who has ever won the honor of Best Actor for an international film then you can do whatever you want.

5) Hector Elizondo

Cuban born Hector Elizondo would bring some flavor to the Premier League and he also has experience in the movies as a coach before.  Coach Ed Gennero of Necessary Roughness has to be considered 1 of the 150 most memorable coaches in the last twenty years.  Elizondo, along with Caine and Sutherland, has also never heard of the term “No Thanks” and has acted in over 130 films as well.   Some are memorable like Pretty Woman and there are some that you should probably forget like How High.

6) Rip Torn

Lets face it Mr. Rip Torn, the Men in Black star, should not be on the list with his recent arrest where he drunkingly broke into a bank on a Sunday because he thought he was at his home.  But there is some small factor in that decision that makes me think he could make a great coach.  Yes this decision was in fact a terrible one, but is he really the first coach to publicly make a fool out of himself.  The list is too long to name just one.

Creative Commons License photo credit: crazyoctopus

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Koozies imprinted February 28, 2010, 8:48 pm

    Of them, I love Michael Caine most. He ‘s hero in my heart !

  • Randall February 28, 2010, 5:42 pm

    Elizondo should have gotten the nod. Anyone who has ever seen “Victory” knows Caine doesn’t need to be anywhere near a soccer pitch. Of course, if you went with Hector you would also have to make Loggia the assistant coach, which could be problematic. BTW, have you seen a picture of the bank Rip Torn broke into? I must say, it does look a lot like his house (I think EW had a pic of both). Now, I doubt the bank lobby (where he took his pants off) looked like his foyer, but I’m just saying…

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