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The Graveyard Shift

Today is Friday the 13th meaning that your odds tonight of being the victim of an axe to the head or a chainsaw to the torso just went through the roof.  

So in other words tonight might not be the best night to go for that skinny dip with some bimbos in the lake or venture on a long walk alone in the woods.  Don’t even leave your house to get some beer at the store and especially do not belittle your chances of getting hacked up.  And if you are a security guard of a remote area don’t even think about picking up the graveyard shift.  Feelings of paranoia are part of the whole Friday the 13th experience.

So what should you do on Jason’s birthday?  Nothing at all of course.

I don’t know who makes the schedules for the MLS Playoffs, but whoever it is I can think of a few creative punishments for their immense stupidity.  I mean the guy that decided eleven at night (east coast) was a good time to start a semi-final playoff match is the same guy that was dumb enough to dig up Jason from his grave in the first place.

Sure the match is over the weekend so people can stay up a little bit later then usual, but 11 PM starting time?  Good God. 

If you want soccer to become a nationally respected sport then you need to plan these things out better.  When has an NFL Playoff game ever started so late?  Never.  In the football system you play over the weekend in late afternoon or early evening times.  This way the every day American can watch every minute of the match and not some metro-sexual guy that is waxing his chest before he goes out to some club where they serve drinks in laboratory test tubes.

Do people forget that these events are also for kids? What do you say to little Timmy as he sits up past midnight intensely staring at the television.  Go get me a glass of scotch and some cigs from the store?  I don’t think so….

Kids should be in bed past midnight just like playoff games should be played on the weekend at times that the living can watch them.

But tonight will be a much different story then your usual playoff game.  But hopefully the MLS learns from their irrational method of thinking and gets it right next season.

Because there is always time for a sequel.  Just ask the birthday boy.

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