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2010 World Cup Preview: Chile

Maldivian Made. So vivid..

The Team: Chile is a homonym because you can also be “chilly”, eat “chili”, and listen to “Chilli”, that girl from the former hip-hop supergroup TLC (who lost their spark when they lost Left Eye, just my opinion). I’ve never been to Chile. I’m not sure why, I just don’t think it is for me. For one, it looks extremely narrow. If you ask me, wide countries are the ones we can trust. What’s that? No one asked me? Well, of course not.

No one’s asked me since we lost Left Eye.

The Cream: In case you think I have lost my mind and am now simply jabbering incoherent phrases at you for sport, let me let you in on this little secret: chili with sour cream is delicious. Seriously, it’s good. You know “good”, it’s the opposite of this post, which has still not referenced anything to do with soccer or the squad from Chile that will compete in South Africa. I have just a lil’ space left. Um, Chile will cheer on Bravo, Jara, Fernandez, Suaza & Sanchez.

The Dream: Chile’s team hasn’t gotten my attention (could you tell) because I just don’t think they have any chance of winning the World Cup. I know they have a dream where they win it and everything is perfect. I once had a dream where I legally married a chili dog and then killed her and her lover (a soft pretzel smothered in honey mustard dressing of all things) when I found them making love in the Louvre. I was reading “The Da Vinci Code” at the time.

And, admittedly, eating too many chili dogs.

Anyways, the point of this post was to (a) experiment with a not-so-silky stream of consciousness writing technique; (b) get that whole “I might be in love with a chili dog” dream thing off my chest; and (c) tell you about Chile’s soccer team. I wholly failed in that last regard, and I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I think Chile will fail at the World Cup too. So it’s not like you have missed anything today. I would put their odds of hoisting the Cup at 420:1.

Ooooohhhhh. I bet Chile is pissed right now.

In fact, I bet their collective reception of this post will be best defined by one word… 

Chilly.

Creative Commons License photo credit: nattu

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